"The Family is of God"

I just watched the April 2015 General Women's Broadcast. There were a lot of great talks and uplifting music all centered around... The Family! Which of course I thought was awesome because it's exactly what I've been learning about all semester. At the beginning of the broadcast there was a video of families singing the children's song, "The Family is of God," which I had actually never heard before. I'm not usually one to be especially touched by the music in our conferences and church meetings, but as I watched the video tonight this song became an instant favorite of mine.

What a great way to summarize and teach the simple truths of the doctrine of the family to children (or, well... anybody!) So I looked it up because I really wanted to share it here. Unfortunately (but unsurprisingly) they don't have on Youtube yet the video they just showed in conference, but I did find a different video with accompanying lyrics. Please listen to this primary song and think about the beautiful lessons it teaches about families.

[Update: Actually I just found the video from Conference on lds.org! Here it is:]

Lyrics:
Verse 1.
Our Father has a family, it's me, it's you, all others too, 
we are His children.
He sent each one of us to Earth, through birth,
to live and learn here in families.

Chorus:
God game us families,
to help us become what He wants us to be.
This is how He shares His love.
For the family is of God.

Verse 2.
A father's place is to preside, provide,
to love and teach the gospel to his children.
A father leads in family prayer, to share
their love for Father in Heaven.

Chorus:
God game us families,
to help us become what He wants us to be.
This is how He shares His love.
For the family is of God.

Verse 3.
A mother's purpose is to care, prepare,
to nurture and to strengthen all her children.
She teaches children to obey, to pray, 
to love and serve in the family.

Chorus:
God game us families,
to help us become what He wants us to be.
This is how He shares His love.
For the family is of God.

Verse 4:
I'll love and serve my family, and be, 
a good example to each family member.
And when I am a mom or dad, so glad,
I'll help my family remember.

Chorus:
God game us families,
to help us become what He wants us to be.
This is how He shares His love.
For the family is of God.

To Mothers and Fathers

For my class I read some great counsel to mothers and fathers from President Ezra Taft Benson that I really feel is worth devoting a whole post to. There are 10 pieces of counsel each to mothers and to fathers, and it is exactly the counsel the I hope Rodolfo and I will follow when parenting our own children someday.

To mothers:

1. Be at the crossroads. - Be there when children are coming or going, whether it be to or from school, dates, or friends' houses.

2. Be a real friend to your children. - Regularly spend unrushed one-on-one time with each child.

3. Read to your children. - Starting from the cradle, read to your sons and daughters.

4. Pray with your children. - Family prayers, under the direction of the father, should be held morning and night.

5. Have weekly family home evenings. - With your husband presiding, participate in a spiritual and an uplifting home evening each week. Have you children actively involved. Teach them correct principles.

6. Be together at mealtimes. - "This is a challenge... but happy conversation, sharing of the day’s plans and activities, and special teaching moments occur at mealtime because mothers and fathers and children work at it."

7. Read Scriptures Daily as a family. - Individual scripture reading is important, but family scripture reading is vital.

8. Do things as a family. - Make family outings and picnics and birthday celebrations and trips special times and memory builders. Whenever possible, attend, as a family, events where one of the family members is involved, such as a school play, a ball game, a talk, a recital.

9. Teach your children.

10. Truly love your children, and make sure they know it.

To fathers:

1. Give father’s blessings to your children. Baptize and confirm your children. Ordain your sons to the priesthood.

2. Personally direct family prayers, daily scripture reading, and weekly family home evenings. - Your personal involvement will show your children how important these activities really are.

3. Whenever possible, attend Church meetings together as a family. - Family worship under your leadership is vital to your children’s spiritual welfare.

4. Go on daddy-daughter dates and father-and-sons’ outings with your children. - As a family, go on campouts and picnics, to ball games and recitals, to school programs, and so forth. Having Dad there makes all the difference.

5. Build traditions of family vacations and trips and outings. - These memories will never be forgotten by your children.

6. Have regular one-on-one visits with your children. - Let them talk about what they would like to. Teach them gospel principles. Teach them true values. Tell them you love them. Personal time with your children tells them where Dad puts his priorities.

7. Teach your children to work, and show them the value of working toward a worthy goal. - Establishing mission funds and education funds for your children shows them what Dad considers to be important.

8. Encourage good music and art and literature in your homes. - Homes that have a spirit of refinement and beauty will bless the lives of your children forever.

9. As distances allow, regularly attend the temple with your wife. - Your children will then better understand the importance of temple marriage and temple vows and the eternal family unit.

10. Have your children see your joy and satisfaction in service to the Church. - This can become contagious to them, so they, too, will want to serve in the Church and will love the kingdom.

Before I wrap this up, here are just a couple of more quotes directed at husbands and fathers:

Elder Packer: "Holders of the priesthood, in turn, must accommodate themselves to the needs and responsibilities of the wife and mother. Her physical and emotional and intellectual and cultural well-being and her spiritual development must stand first among his priesthood duties. There is no task, however menial, connected with the care of babies, the nurturing of children, or with the maintenance of the home that is not his [the husband's] equal obligation."

Elder Oaks:"Homemaking is not just baking bread or cleaning a house. Homemaking is to make the environment necessary to nurture our children toward eternal life, which is our responsibility as parents. In that, homemaking is as much for fathers as it is for mothers."

Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments

So today I want to talk about another serious topic (the Law of Chastity) as I learned about it in an amazing BYU devotional talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.

Now, if you're like me, any time you find out you're about to hear from Elder Holland, it goes something like this:




Let's be honest, this is probably true:



Seriously, when I was reading the book of Alma recently, I totally got an "Elder Holland" vibe about Captain Moroni. And you know what the scriptures say about Moroni... :
"Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men." (Alma 48:17)

And this talk was really powerful, awesome stuff, so I hope you'll listen to the devotional

Here -->

And/or read the whole talk here.

But if you don't have time for that, keep reading, as I'm going to include and talk about my favorite parts here :)

And I'll warn you right now, I'm probably going to include lots of quotes, because...




But in all seriousness, this was an amazing talk addressing a somewhat sensitive topic that we as church members get asked about all the time by non-members, and I'm sure I've never heard a better explanation outside of this talk by Elder Holland.

So let's get started:

In this talk, he gives three major reasons behind the "why?" of the Law of Chastity, as summarized by his alliterative title, "Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments."

"Why be morally clean?" Why is it so serious?

"Setting aside sins against the Holy Ghost as a special category unto themselves, it is LDS doctrine that sexual transgression is second only to murder in the Lord’s list of life’s most serious sins. By assigning such rank to a physical appetite so conspicuously evident in all of us, what is God trying to tell us about its place in His plan for all men and women in mortality? I submit to you He is doing precisely that–commenting about the very plan of life itself. Clearly God’s greatest concerns regarding mortality are how one gets into this world and how one gets out of it."

I think that quote is just so incredibly insightful. I had never thought about that before. I used to think it was strange that sexual sins were considered more "abominable" than things like theft and cheating/fraud, considering the law does more to discourage the latter than the former, but now it makes much more sense.

Elder Holland goes on to say that fortunately we, as a society, are generally pretty responsible when it comes to taking life. We understand the sanctity of life and we usually do not intentionally endanger our lives or the lives of others. But for some reason, when it comes to the creation of life, people give no such level of care or concern--in fact they treat it with reckless abandon (or as Elder Holland calls it, "near-criminal irresponsibility"). If people had the same attitude about taking lives as they do about giving life, we'd be living in absolute chaos. But as Elder Holland says, "What would in the case of taking life bring absolute horror and demand grim justice, in the case of giving life brings dirty jokes, four-letter language, and wholesale voyeurism in movies, on television, over the internet, and almost everywhere else we turn." It's horrible, when you think about it like that.

Well now that we've thought a little bit about why it's so serious, let's get into Elder Holland's three specific points.

Souls

"One of the 'plain and precious' truths restored to this dispensation is that 'the spirit and the body are the soul of man,' ... So partly in answer to why such seriousness, we answer that when one toys with the God-given–and satanically coveted–body of another, he or she toys with the very soul of that individual, toys with the central purpose and product of life, 'the very key' to life, as Elder Boyd K. Packer once called it. In trivializing the soul of another (please include the word body there) we trivialize the atonement, which saved that soul and guaranteed its continued existence. ... The first key reason for personal purity? Our very souls are involved and at stake."

Wow... that is some powerful stuff. That's definitely something we should think about when we're tempted to flout the law of chastity.


Symbols (of Total Unity)

"Second, human intimacy, that sacred, physical union ordained of God for a married couple, deals with a symbol that demands special sanctity. Such an act of love between a man and a woman is–or certainly was ordained to be–a symbol of total union: union of their hearts, their hopes, their lives, their love, their family, their future, their everything. It is a symbol that we try to suggest in the temple with a word like seal." 

"But such a total, virtually unbreakable union, such an unyielding commitment between a man and a woman, can come only with the proximity and permanence afforded in a marriage covenant, with the union of all that they possess–their very hearts and minds, all their days and all their dreams. They work together, they cry together, they enjoy Brahms and Beethoven and breakfast together, they sacrifice and save and live together for all the abundance that such a totally intimate life provides such a couple. And the external symbol of that union, the physical manifestation of what is a far deeper spiritual and metaphysical bonding, is the physical blending that is part of–indeed, a most beautiful and gratifying expression of–that larger, more complete union of eternal purpose and promise."

I find that so beautifully stated. When you read that it seems unbelievable that two people could have the audacity to share something like that that is meant to bind a couple together in a symbol of unity and love despite neither loving each other nor having had committed themselves to each other at least for life if not for eternity. When you understand the true purpose of physical intimacy, what once might have seemed harmless becomes just the grossest abuse and mockery of something sacred and beautiful.

Elder Holland continues:

"Can you see then the moral duplicity that comes from pretending we are one, sharing the physical symbols and physical intimacy of our union, but then fleeing, retreating, severing all such other aspects–and symbols–of what was meant to be a total obligation... ?" 

"If you persist in sharing part without the whole, in pursuing satisfaction devoid of symbolism, in giving parts and pieces and inflamed fragments only, you run the terrible risk of such spiritual, psychic damage that you may undermine both your physical intimacy and your wholehearted devotion to a truer, later love. You may come to that moment of real love, of total union, only to discover to your horror that what you should have saved has been spent and that only God’s grace can recover that piecemeal dissipation of your virtue."

Wow... again, very powerful stuff. And okay, I know this segment is already super long, but all of this material is just so good, I can't risk you guys missing it!

Quoting his LDS friend, Dr. Victor L. Brown Jr., Elder Holland says:

“Fragmentation enables its users to counterfeit intimacy. . . . If we relate to each other in fragments, at best we miss full relationships. At worst, we manipulate and exploit others for our gratification. Sexual fragmentation can be particularly harmful because it gives powerful physiological rewards which, though illusory, can temporarily persuade us to overlook the serious deficits in the overall relationship. Two people may marry for physical gratification and then discover that the illusion of union collapses under the weight of intellectual, social, and spiritual incompatibilities. . . ."

Now here I think is a very practical application of this principle that I think even those who might be non-believers can get behind and understand. Even if you don't believe that our bodies are part of our souls, or that sex is meant to be anything nobler or spiritually significant than what our society makes it out to be, you can't deny the consequences described by Dr. Brown.


Sacraments

"For our purpose, a sacrament could be any one of a number of gestures or acts or ordinances that unite us with God and His limitless powers. ... These are moments when we quite literally unite our will with God’s will, our spirit with His Spirit, where communion through the veil becomes very real. At such moments we not only acknowledge His divinity, but we also quite literally take something of that divinity to ourselves. Such are the holy sacraments."

Well, this concept was a little harder for me to grasp than the ones he talked about above, but I believe the gist of it is that because physical intimacy is the means of creating life, that is when we are most God-like. And because it is a time when we are most closely emulating God and his matchless power, it is a "sacrament" to him. But Elder Holland says it better than I do, so here are some more of his words:

"... I submit that we will never be more like God at any other time in this life than when we are expressing that particular power. Of all the titles He has chosen for Himself, Father is the one He declares, and creation is His watchword–especially human creation, creation in His image. His glory isn’t a mountain, as stunning as mountains are. It isn’t in sea or sky or snow or sunrise, as beautiful as
they all are. It isn’t in art or technology, be that a concerto or computer. No, His glory–and His grief–is in His children. We–you and I–are His prized possessions, and we are the earthly evidence, however inadequate, of what He truly is. Human life is the greatest of God’s powers, the most mysterious and magnificent chemistry of it all, and you and I have been given it, but under the most serious and sacred of restrictions."

In Conclusion

"Souls. Symbols. Sacraments. Do these words suggest why human intimacy is such a serious matter? Why it is so right and rewarding, so stunningly beautiful when it is within marriage and approved of God (not just “good” but “very good”), and so blasphemously wrong–like unto murder–when it is outside such a covenant?"

I hope you do understand it better now and why we, as a church, take it so seriously. I know I do, and I'm grateful to Elder Holland for imparting this message so clearly and powerfully. Definitely listen to the whole thing if you have a chance. You won't regret it!